Have you ever experienced a moment of sexual ecstasy? How did it make you feel? Exhilarated? Luminous? Deeply connected? Intense sexual experiences are one of our greatest sources of pleasure.
At the same time, sex is often regarded with an equal measure of fear and fascination. We may crave sexual intimacy to the core of our being, yet also take great pains to avoid it. We may wish to be touched with all of our heart, yet fear our own vulnerability. We may long to rekindle lost passion, but have forgotten how to light the fire.
Shortly after becoming an escort, I discovered and became interested in tantric sex. I think getting to know it can enrich your sex life and important, incorporate a spiritual dimension to your lovemaking. I, for example learned to use my breathing to connect to my intuition and the hearts of others. This was an invaluable tool for me as an escort. For example while hugging a new client, it would only take me a couple of seconds to ascertain the man"s energy. Was he kind or afraid? Warm or distant? Available for intimacy or guarded and controlling? It may seem incredible to think you can tell all of that from a simple hug. But, in fact, you probably already employ elements of this in your life. Next time you hug someone, just take a minute to breath into the hug and feel the flow of energy. That energy has always been there, and you are in no doubt already accessing the information on some level.
The practice of Tantra shows us how to reclaim the sexual intimacy that is our birthright. And through this most ancient of arts, we may discover new joys of the erotic and expand mere moments of sexual ecstasy into a lifetime of sexual bliss. At a time when the stresses, fears and distractions of daily life threaten so many relationships, the age-old practice of Tantra shows us how to open our hearts, our emotions and our sexuality.
The word Tantra means "to manifest, to expand, to show and to weave." In this context, sex is thought to expand consciousness and to weave together the polarities of male (represented by the Hindu god, Shiva), and female (embodied by the Hindu goddess, Shakti), into a harmonious whole.
In the West, we sometimes view sex as a source of recreation rather than a means of transformation. The goal may be to reach orgasm rather than to pleasure our lover or to connect with him or her more fully.
This kind of lovemaking, say sex experts, has a distinct beginning and ending, with a climax somewhere in between and an average duration of 10 to 15 minutes. Given that women can take about 20 minutes just to reach full arousal, this type of sexual experience can be deeply unsatisfying.
In the Tantric model, the sexual experience is seen as a dance with no beginning or end. There is no goal, only the present moment of exquisite union. For this reason, lovemaking is meditative, expressive and intimate. Tantra teaches lovers how to extend the peak of their sexual ecstasy so that women and men can experience several orgasms in a single sexual encounter.
During our date, I like to keep things slow. Good foreplay is an art and a basic for tantric lovemaking. For example, taking a bath together could be a part of our meeting. Water relaxes the body and is a symbol of sexuality. Massaging each other is also an excellent way to fuse your energies. I like to maintain a deep level of intimacy, continue to gaze into each other eyes, concentrate on enjoying the moment and exploring all our senses.
Express yourself for better sex
Some of the Gentlemen I have met are in a long relationship or a marriage, which is not going on well as it sould. Indeed, many couples experience a dulling or slowing down of the sexual heat they initially felt for each other. Those first few months or years together can fulfil all our hottest and most romantic fantasies, but as time goes by we seem to lose something.
Although many experts will tell you that you need more variety in your sex life in order to keep it interesting, I disagree. Certainly, experimenting with new sexual techniques can be very enlightening and erotic persuit, however they are simply insufficient to create sexual heat all by themselves. In fact, singles who are having sex with multiple partners and are open to trying new things in bed also could get bored with sex. Clearly, something else must constitute the essential ingredient when it comes to passion.
I have determined that suppressed emotions are what, in fact, diminish our capacity for sexual pleasure. Whenever you deny a feeling because you think it is inappropriate, you then have to bury it under mountains of shame and justification. In effect, you, turn the volue down on that part of you that feels. So your laughter feels a little more superficial, and your orgasms become less and less satisfying.
Conflict is a normal part of all human interactions. Actually, it is a normal part of interaction for any living organism.
Knowing how to handle conflict and move through and past it as quickly as possible will not only keep your sex life on track for more pleasure and intimacy, but it will make for a happier life in general.
Part of my job as an escort or courtesan is to facilitate this expression of emotions from my clients. I ask them probing questions about their lives, and most of them are feeling compelled to answer. I often hear them say that they can not believe they are sharing such deeply private feelings with me. And they are usually grateful to get these secrets and buried feelings off their chests. The nonjudgmental and safe atmosphere that I offer these men lead them to talk about things they might fear to speak about with their partners or best friends. Of course, by sharing their intimate thoughts and feelings with me, they feel closer to me and safer with me. The end result is usually a deeply satisfying sexual experience.
I am of an option that courtesans must refine the art of communication. Because she is being paid for her intellect and companionship as well as her time and sexual expertise, a courtesan must know how to relate to men on many different emotional, psychological, and intellectual levels.
There are many ways to describe healthy communication. Some call it “fair fighting”, some call it “problem solving”, and some refer to it as “active listening”. But the bottom line is that all human interactions require successful communication to run satisfactorily.
Expression of feelings – active listening – empathy – validation of feelings – improved intimacy – better sex
Every one of us lives in fear of our own thoughts and emotions. Getting past that fear and taking the risk of confiding in a trustworthy person is an important step in lowering our defences so that we are open to pleasure – the pleasure of emotions such as laughter and love and the pleasure of sensuality and sex.